April's CR Diary

February 7, 2010

Another Weird Thing About Me That You Didn't Know

Back in 2000 I ran an organizing campaign at Bayonne Hospital in Bayonne, NJ. One of my favorite workers was nuclear med tech who was absolutely brilliant, funny, and among other things sang in the New York Gay Men's Chorus. At night after I'd finished my work calls I'd call him to check in on how his co-workers were doing (in a union campaign things move really, really fast so nightly check-ins with key leaders are normal) but after that we'd stay on the phone talking about everything in the world, sometimes until late at night.

One of the bizarre tangents we got on once was strange things that turn us on. His strangest, and you'd think it would be mine with how much I adore vegetables, was that he found it really sexy if he saw a cute guy carefully checking out the produce at the grocery store. Like tapping the cantaloupe, squeezing the eggplant, etc. That's weird, but you can totally see the appeal.

Mine were pretty weird too, some more predictable than others. For instance, everybody knows that I am rarely in the slightest bit attracted to a man who *doesn't* wear glasses. Over time I've come to associate glasses with brains, and we CR girls like our boys smart. So that one's not too weird.

Second: typing. The one boy who really broke my heart in college, whose name I will not mention for fear of invoking him, was the best typist I'd ever met. I used to lie in his bed and close my eyes and listen to him type... one straight line, no stops. Amazing. Never got over it really. Until I met MR, I always knew that if he who shall not be named were to turn up, I'd probably leave anyone I was dating for him. I knew it was serious with MR when I told him that he was the first man I would not leave for HWSNBN.

Third parallel parking: I am so terrified of parallel parking that I have a mental block on how to spell parallel. I can do it, and I do have to do it sometimes, but I will do almost anything to avoid it, including calling MR from up the block and telling him to come out and park the car if there are no easily accessible spaces on the street. I find it almost unbearably sexy when a man can parallel park really well. My ex was the best ever: I would look at a space and say, "You can not possibly get into that space!" and he'd do it in seconds, without really even having to adjust. I, on the other hand, am the queen of the 64 point turn.

Then this morning a new one occurred to me, and it's really weird, but highly adaptive. I find it exstremely sexy when men shovel snow. I didn't realize it until today, but I just think that's really hot.

Of course we are having a giant snow storm in the Northeast, so attracting a mate who shovels snow is a highly adaptive behavior. Sorta like how MR was attracted to me in large part when he read all my blog postings of my delicious recipes... just waiting for someone to cook for... about a year later he realized the degree to which he fell into a carefully constructed trap, but by that time he was too hooked to mind.

In any event, ladies, I suggest that even if you do not genuinely find the concept of men shoveling snow inherently sexy, you should put out press releases that you do, as you may find that your husband/boyfriend/partner is more likely to clear the sidewalk without complaint.

But to be fair, you might want to make a nice stuffed eggplant afterward!

Posted by april at 8:16 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

February 3, 2010

April and the Breakfast of Doom

"Are you sure you want to do that?" asked MR at 5:30 this morning as I scooped Nancy's Organic cottage cheese (the best on the planet) into a 1 cup measuring cup. I had said, two days before, that eating cottage cheese for breakfast causes me to be very hungry very shortly thereafter, and is probably therefore not a good CR strategy. In general, in fact, I don't eat breakfast at all, as I find that I am not much more hungry immediately preceeding lunch if I don't eat breakfast at all, and so it's a great way to save calories. But this morning I knew I was going to be doing nurse meetings in a room with a dozen Dunkin Donuts bagels: my arch nemesis. So I figured I'd better fortify myself, and I was trying to consume as little methionine as possible (see previous post for why/how this all came about) so the eggwhite and flax oil breakfast of CR glory days was out, and I wanted to eat something.

I ate the cottage cheese with flax oil. It was delicious.

I was still hungry. Even right at that moment.

I went to the meeting. I had volunteered to pick up food for the morning meeting (we are legally required to provide bagels if it's before 11 am, at which point we become legally required to provide pizza) so I went to Dunkin Donuts and ordered them.

In the old days, pre-CR, I would have eaten a sesame bagel with light veggie cream cheese (lowfat don't ya know???) and a Dunkin Donuts coffee with cream and sugar on my way to the meeting, and then probably another at the meeting, but those days are long gone... right?

I got to the meeting. My co-workers were there. The nurses didn't show, but that's not all that unusual. My co-workers ate bagels. We had a productive meeting amongst ourselves.

"Oh come on..." the evil inner voice said in my head..."You can have just a bite. You know you love sesame bagels. Just a little bit. You can go online and figure out the calorie count later and just adjust for it. Just a little bite... yum yum yum... you've been soooooo good lately..."

And I was really hungry in that wiggy, blood sugar out of whack way that you forget about once you're on a low carb diet for awhile. Apparently cottage cheese causes a weird insulin release because the protein in cottage cheese is the highest insulin spiking of all known proteins, and it only has a little bit of carb, so when you have a big spike of insulin as though you'd just had a big bowl of sugar, and then you have cottage cheese, the insulin surge sweeps all the glucose out of your bloodstream all at once and then you go, "AAAAARGH!" Causing a fairly quick explosion of hunger. This is made much worse by being in a many hour fasting state first thing in the morning.

So I was wigging out.

Then I ate a little bit of bagel. Then I ate a little more. Then the just one bite thing went swimmingly out the window, and I ate AN ENTIRE BAGEL.. With reduced fat veggie cream cheese, which really is quite good.

Here is the thing about me and bagels: I can not have just one bite. No, I can not. Bagels are the kind of thing for me that if I am going to have even the smallest sample, I must be prepared to commit to eating the entire thing. It's very important in CR to know if you have these triggers. There are plenty of foods of which I can have just a small sample and be satisfied, or at least stop myself from going forward. But there are a very few things, of which the bagel with cream cheese is the main one, that I can not even nibble at unless I am prepared to go all the way.

Bagel: gone. For the record, it really was just as delicious as I had remembered it, as I had perhaps fantasized about it being in the early moments of the meeting when I hadn't really been paying attention to Edward and was instead staring at the naked and defenseless sesame bagel just a few feet away from me. How can a girl with normal, healthy appetites possibly be expected to resist such temptation? (This is where changing the food environment comes in!) I am no anorexic: i have the compulsion to eat the bagel just like everyone else, but over time I've learned strategies to stop myself. *Most* of the time. And most of the time, I don't put myself in the same room with something I desperately want unless I'm planning to have it.

Then after the meeting, I looked for it's nutrition information online.

Okay, bad news. But not surprising... I vaguely knew it even before the evil voice in my head urged the oft-failed "just one bite" strategy.

It was 8:45 am and between the cottage cheese and flax breakfast and the bagel with cream cheese, I had already eaten 760 calories.

I wrote my CR girlfriend Paige in a panic, and she reminded me to eat normally for the rest of the day and jump right back on the CRCR wagon. Of course, she was right. (She was also, for the record, feeding my own advice right back to me. :)

Still, I berated myself. I'd been doing so well! Low carb is working for me! I feel great almost all the time! My yoga practice is soaring! I can wear my favorite skirt again! I would just not eat until dinner, I resolved.

Yeah right.

I went to a yoga class and practiced hard for an hour and a half. Excellent class, even though a class that isn't with Jonathan never measures up to what the Mozart of Iyengar can do.

Did yoga. Craved a Diet Coke bigntime, which I always do after yoga, but had no access to one so went back to the office.

All the things I was supposed to do there ended up either canceled or just as well done at home (I work from home a lot, which is great except that it means I never stop working) so I decided to run a few errands then get on home and work.

Went to the wine store... MR was almost out of Pinot Noir.

Went to Lee's Produce to pick up bok choi, shiitake mushrooms, and some other stuff. Was already very hungry... it was nearly 1:30 by this time. I'd had no protein or fat since the cottage and flax this morning at 5:30 am other than the small amount in the light cream cheese.

I ate a pint of grape tomatoes. That's not too bad.

Then I was overwhelmed with the worst sugar craving I've had literally in years. The little produce store (with great prices on fresh veggies) carries a whole host of sugary candies in small plastic tubs, including gummy peaches, pineapples, worms, bears, eggs, snakes, papayas, and little gummy figures of Obama as well as tons of dried fruits, which pre-CR I adored.

There was something so wacky going on with my blood sugar that I just about freaked out. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't look at sugary candies because sugar gives me anxiety attacks. But I was losing it.

I implemented a harm-reduction strategy: I purchased and ate one gummy fruit slice. Red. I love red candies. All my favorite candies are red.

Immediately I started to calm down. But I was still hungry.

"F*&k this low protein, low methionine s*^t." I thought.

I walked in the door of the house and went straight to the fridge. That no antibiotics no hormones lean turkey breast I'd told MR I'd give away after Sunday night's conversation when we decided I'd try to go vegetarian and low protein: I was glad it was still in the fridge. Straight onto the stove it went, in a saucepan with organic free range chicken broth, vinegar, garlic and capers. Bubble bubble, toil and trouble!

Upstairs I went, and burst in on MR's office where he was actually trying to get work done.

As usual, he drops everything for me. "I'm having a horrible day!" I exclaimed.

As it turns out, he had meant to tell me, after our conversation on Sunday night, that he actually didn't think I should decrease protein while I was still in active weight loss phase because those who do that often see too much lose of lean body mass. But he didn't want to micromanage my diet, so he hadn't mentioned it.

And if, in the end, I need high protein and meat to maintain CR calorie levels, then that way trumps methionine restriction or other concerns.

Yum yum yum. I ate my turkey. I started to feel like the sane, rational person I've come to fancy myself to be again.

I will probably go back to skipping breakfast entirely. On days when I have early yoga class, it's essential because you can't eat before practice (if you want proof, eat a big breakfast and then try to do a headstand.) Sure, I'm hungry from 10 - 12, but it seems I'm hungry during that time even if I eat breakfast, so may as well save the 200 - 300 calories.

In any event, my cottage cheese consumption, like most people's alcohol consumption, will be confined to after 5 pm with meals.

Posted by april at 12:28 PM | Comments (11) | TrackBack (0)

Feinman's First Law of Nutrition

[I wrote this last Sunday, but changed a few things in the draft. It will be rather important as background to the next entry so I re-post.]

Well, I've finally figured it out.

MR hid it carefully, cloaked in discussions of beliefs that we share that make marriage unlikely if not impossible. (We don't believe in marriage: we believe that it happens, but to other people. Like diabetes and plagues of locusts.) All this time I thought MR was genuinely ideologically opposed to marriage. We've saved our friends and family thousands of dollars by refusing to get married, and we've finally been together long enough that people stop asking when we're going to get the state's stamp on our relationship. He is on my health insurance. We have a joint credit card, we own a house together. We have no intention of ever breaking up. But we're not getting married. Ever. Not just because the thought of marriage makes me so physically ill that I can't even look at either red wine or Diet Coke.

Nope. Now I've figured out his real reason for not wanting to get married. It's a really sketchy attempt to get around Feinman's First Law Of Nutrition.

Thou shalt not interfere in thy spouse's diet.
- Richard David Feinman

You can see how this would be a very good law for maintaining domestic tranquility.

To be fair, MR has gotten very good about biting his tongue and letting me eat whatever I'm going to eat. He's survived many an episode of me going out with friends and overeating and overdrinking, and he long ago got over the notion that I would weigh and measure every single grape tomato. Most of the time he's just trying to be helpful. For instance, yesterday at lunch when he pointed out that since I frequently do not have dinner on Sunday nights (I eat breakfast only on Sundays, so I often don't have dinner. I'm a two meals a day person.) I should have flax oil with my salad at lunch instead of nuts.

To a normal person, this would be no big deal. But I over-react. I live with the world's icon of CR perfection, and it is at times a bit hard to not measure up. MR has been incredibly patient with me, especially considering that when we first got together I was both much better than I am now, and I also held myself out to be somewhat better than I am (who doesn't, in the early phases of seduction?) But my nerves are rubbed raw. So I overreact and turn into Ms. Mean Nasty B*t&h.

Having decided that we're already going there, I asked him what else he'd change about my diet, if he were given the opportunity to offer an opinion.

Silly me.

He'd have me quit or dramatically curtail meat consumption.

I'm really glad I ate those organic free range uncured turkey dogs before finding this out.

He has lots of good reasons: not methionine restriction, but methionine normalization. Epidemiological evidence that those who are either ovo-lacto vegetarians or eat meat less than once a week have lower risk of heart disease (for which I think my risk is approaching zero but anyway.) Environmental concerns.

So I figure I'll try it.

I created a template of foods to eat every day to make sure I get all my nutrition with minimal meat, moderate (rather than high) protein, and low carb. To this, I will add a) wine b) low carb veggies c) nuts, avocadoes, olives etc. d) little low fat cheeses, like Baby Bel and Laughing Cow Light (little processed cheeses are among my favorite things on earth) to get up to a target of 1400 calories/day.

2 cups nonfat plain organic yogurt
15 g pumpkin seeds
30 g almonds
150 g bok choi
150 g romaine
50 g radishes
300 g cauliflower
2 tsps flax oil
2 tbsps Lewis Labs brewers' yeast, which I will most likely put in organic veggie broth, no salt

Nutrition Summary for January 31, 2010
Report generated by CRON-o-Meter v0.9.7
===========================================

Lipids (42%)
===========================================
Saturated | 3.9 g 19%
Omega-3 | 5.1 g 321%
Omega-6 | 8.1 g 47%
Cholesterol | 5.4 mg 2%

Pretty good, eh? Plenty of room to grow in carbs from veggies before hitting 100, some room to grow in protein, but most of the nutritional bases covered.

Food is such a powerful issue in relationships. Back when I was a vegan, I dated a guy for two years who was really not good for me at all, but who was a vegan. We met at a political meeting to which I had brought vegan cookies. "Are these vegan?" he asked. "Yes, are you a vegan?" I asked. Sure enough, he was, and I decided at that moment to seduce him. We lived together for nearly two years of vegan cooking. He was an incredible tofu chef. I made lemon lentil soup that is to die for. He claimed that he was afraid of water, and therefore could not shower by himself. I was so enraptured that I actually bought this, and took a shower with him every other day. He didn't shower at all on the off days... he was a trust fund anarchist and had no job nor need of one... after leaving that relationship (for the guy who later, when I was 28, dumped me for a 22 year old Ruwandan refugee) I made a decision that from thenceforth, I would only date men who shower at least once a day. You know, some things should go without saying, but nothing ever does.

[Note, totally not CR related: I have observed that anytime I tell this story to a man, his reaction is something to the effect of, "Afraid of water? Why didn't I think of that???" So for all you gentlemen readers out there, try it on your wife or girlfriend today. If you are gay, I doubt your partner will fall for this trick, but feel free to try it anyhow. Afraid of water. Can't shower alone. Horrible panic attacks can be averted simply by having some company in the shower. If this works for you, it is evidence that either a) your girlfriend is really stupid b) she just wanted to take a shower with you anyway.]

The thrill of being with someone who shares your food beliefs, when you're one of us nutrition nutcases who thinks about this stuff all the time, is pretty amazing. I imagine it must be like when those people who play with model trains get together, or a Star Trek convention. Sharing a common passion is powerful and exciting, and it is certainly what drew me to MR in the first place. Our first few days in Calgary of CR-geeking out together were incredibly fun, and over the years we've had a lot of partner in crime moments as we weighed out our his and hers celery and played with DWIDP and later CRON-o-Meter. My creep off of CR and into mere healthy eating has been more frustrating for me than for him, but surely it has been frustrating and upsetting. Now that I'm back, things are better. He is so proud of me as I measure out my pumpkin seeds and read my scientific papers.

Still, I will never be quite like MR, and he accepts that. I will always go out, both for work and with friends. My idea of heaven is the Control Freak Salad at Marathon Grill, my favorite Philly salad place, and I don't know the exact calories on the salad I have there but I know it's low carb, high nutrition, and really really yummy. MR would never eat that because he only eats things that are weighed and measured, yet we've managed to make peace.

I doubt that, in spite of his very excellent best efforts, MR will ever be able to follow Feinman's First Law of Nutrition. He's too invested in my health and longevity to just leave well enough alone. So sometimes it's just easier for me to do what he wants rather than fight sad face. Argument from authority, no. Argument from the man you wake up next to.

And of course I want to live long and be healthy. I started to see signs of aging last week, though I think I was just tired, and I had that panic that drove me to hardcore CR in the first place. I need time. I hate the idea of aging, the idea that people who have finally learned how to behave like grown-ups don't stick around all that much longer. I want to look 50 when I'm 70. CR is the only intervention known to...

So very little meat, low carb, low protein, low sat fat, high MUFA and PUFA (awwww, the names of my eventual pet rats!) and I still get to drink wine. I can handle that. Hardcore we go again. 1400 with no going out, or at least very rare going out. At my activity level that will land me where I want to be in just the right amount of time.

The things I'm not eating are becoming a large list. Oh well. I've recently threatened to exist only on mashed cauliflower, flax oil and Laughing Cow Light. I don't need a lot of variety. Having found two things I really like, I don't really want much of anything else.

I've always felt sorry for the CR sisters who have partners who aren't supportive of their CR. I still do. It must be awful to be told you're too skinny (something that rarely happened to me even at 99) and have pressure to eat gak. I am grateful that I have a partner who is so supportive of my CR that sometimes he goes overboard. He forgives me for all the times I wasn't what I promised to be... I forgive him for the occasional micro-management.

Can I have an egg now?

Posted by april at 4:44 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

February 2, 2010

Lemongrass Soup

Here's a new one: Lemongrass Soup

I just made it up, loosely based on an old lemon Thai coconut soup I used to make.

1 cup or so of veggie broth with Rapunzel no salt added vegan veggie broth
23 g lemon grass, fresh, diced
garlic
129 g portabello mushrooms, diced
300 g asparagus diced

I boiled the broth with the lemongrass in it, then added the mushrooms. Now they're simmering on the stove for two hours. I won't be home for dinner, but I popped home between work meetings to make MR's dinner. I've set out the asparagus for him to add just before heating to serve, so they don't get overcooked.

We'll see how it turns out. He's eating that along with his standard template of 5 g hazelnuts and 40 g avocado, which will go on the side salad of romaine, Quorn tenders, nonfat mozza, and 200 g zucchini that I've made him. The zucchini are marinated in Walden Farms Caesar dressing. He also gets a teaspoon of flax oil and one of olive oil plus his standard 3 oz serving of pinot noir.

I'm exhausted but the meetings are going well, and I did make it to the gym for a good 30 mins on the treadmill. I go up to 12 incline at 4.2 mph. It works up just enough of a sweat. Doing cardio daily also seems to help me sleep and make me less irritable.

Tomorrow I have to go to yoga. No... matter... what.

Posted by april at 3:05 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

Today

===========================================
Nutrition Summary for February 2, 2010
Report generated by CRON-o-Meter v0.9.7
===========================================

Lipids (46%)
===========================================
Saturated | 5.6 g 28%
Omega-3 | 5.2 g 322%
Omega-6 | 8.1 g 48%
Cholesterol | 21.6 mg 7%

1 cup Nancy's Organic Cottage Cheese
1 tsp flax oil
15 g pumpkin seeds, unsalted, raw
30 g almonds
1 cup Butterworks' Farms nonfat plain organic yogurt
300 g cauliflower
150 g bok choi
150 g romaine
50 g radishes
50 g cucumber
90 - 110 calories worth of various favorite little processed cheeses: Laughing Cow Light, Mini Baby Bel, Weight Watchers string cheese, etc.
2 glasses red wine (5 oz)
2 tbsps Lewis Labs brewers' yeast
1 cup organic chicken broth (in which Lewis Labs is dissolved)

A little higher in protein than MR would ideally like, but I'm going to be locked in a room with bagels all morning, and I didn't eat dinner last night, so that high protein breakfast was important (cottage cheese today... not as bad on methionine as eggwhites.)

Room to grow by 200 calories... calorie goal currently at 1400. If I add calories they will probably be in the form of nuts. Nuts are so easy quick and convenient, and very low carb and relatively low protein. Who would have ever thought that I would be attempting to cut back on the two macronutrients that in my past life were the focus of my diet? Re-inventing... she's changing her name from Kitty to Karen...

Busy day today... meetings, gym, office, meetings, etc. MR packed my nut and seed bag, and the rest of my food is already at the office. Our new office is lovely. I actually like going there.

I am almost done with the Twilight series of vampire novels. Good thing, as I have actual important reading to do that has been on hold since I couldn't put down the vampire books.

Had a dream the other night that I was at a conference and every pop nutrition book writer I'd ever read was there. I gave Dean Ornish a big hug. Couldn't help it.

What do you think is the best thing to eat immediately after working out? If it's a high calorie burn workout, I find I like yogurt and almonds. If it's a lower calorie burn workout (like Iyengar, big muscle build but fewer calories burnt just in the practice) I like high protein + high fat. If it's Bikram, nothing goes well with falling in the floor in dehydrated and near death exhaustion, so you may as well eat whatever.

Don't get me wrong, I love Birkram. I'm just saying.

I should have gone to the gym instead of blogging. Oh well, later, between meetings, I will go.

Kieffer, contrary to whatever MR says on the subject, is a very good cat. Especially when he is * not* trying to stand on my computer.

Why do people not like to count calories? I really like to count. It's like a game. I like to count everything though. Carbs, fat, protein, average SAT score of men I've dated.

They apparently didn't take SATs in Canada. I asked. Just now.

You know you're a CR geek if you actually read the nutrition information.

Posted by april at 4:09 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack (0)

February 1, 2010

Low Carb Cucumber Radish Salad

Radishes
Cucumbers
(diced, obviously)
red wine vinegar
parsley, chopped
garlic
dash Worchestershire sauce

Marinate overnight in fridge, serve cold.

Sorry for the lack of blog... had very busy week followed by lots of sleeping over the weekend and lots of work too. More soon!

Posted by april at 4:11 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

April's CR Diary

February 7, 2010

Another Weird Thing About Me That You Didn't Know

February 3, 2010

April and the Breakfast of Doom

Feinman's First Law of Nutrition

February 2, 2010

Lemongrass Soup

Today

February 1, 2010

Low Carb Cucumber Radish Salad

Search

Categories

Archives

Recent Entries

Links

February 2010
Sun	Mon	Tue	Wed	Thu	Fri	Sat
	1	2	3	4	5	6
7	8	9	10	11	12	13
14	15	16	17	18	19	20
21	22	23	24	25	26	27
28